Blog-wise, I'm a Total Slacker

Seriously, it's been more than a year. In my defense, I've been working on remodeling my kitchen, ferrying the kidlet to special education classes and social-sensory therapy groups, getting into the whole "Urban Homesteading" thing (including chickens!), traveling to Ireland for a wedding, and so on and so forth.

Still, I think it's time to start this thing up again. One, I'd like to track my amazing kid's progress in his treatment for autism spectrum disorder - he'll be entering a regular kindergarten class this fall instead of a special day class, he's becoming much better at verbalizing his feelings, engaging in reciprocal conversations and creating stories. He's learning how to engage in reciprocal play with other children and developing good social skills. In other words - he's blossoming.

Secondly, it's fun to talk about all the old-school housewife-y stuff I'm doing. I am enjoying the process of learning skills that have been lost to the last few generations - growing my own vegetables, raising chickens for eggs, basic home repairs & DIY projects, to name a few. It feels GOOD to be learning how to be self-sufficient. Having concrete problems to solve and daily physical tasks to do is also incredibly balancing and calming. Going outside and getting my hands dirty at least once a day has been great for my mental health.

It's also a feminist issue - caring for the home and family is good, honest work, but it is also often lonely, thankless and distained by people who should know better. Over last few decades, the feminist movement hasn't done a particularly great job of celebrating and defending home & family centered work, but they have done a far better job of it than most people in the mainstream realize.

Lastly, (deep breath) it has been suggested to me that I should write about living with a mental illness as well as my experiences with the mental health system as both a worker and a consumer. I am somewhat reluctant to do this because some of my family members are uncomfortable with the idea of me being so public about my own experiences. I am also nervous about potentially being a target for judgement, hostility and rejection.

The reason I changed my mind is because of a conversation I had with my friend Lisa, who recently lost a friend, Baird. He had been suffering with a psychiatic illness so intense that he alienated most of his friends and had ended up homeless. She spoke of feeling scared of him in the last few months of his life and after his death feeling guilty about not helping him more. We talked about how hard it is to help someone when you don't know where to take them for prompt treatment when they are in crisis. How hard it is for friends to know how to work together to help a friend in crisis. How hard it is to know what to say to someone who is on finally on medication and are once again stable and functioning, but dislikes being on medication and wants to get off of it.

I told her that medications can really, really suck; not just because of the numerous side-effects, but because you feel like you've lost a part of yourself that you really valued, namely creativity. I remarked that, in my experience, that the "good parts" of you do eventually come back - it can just take a lot of time - and that it is unfortunate that there isn't enough emotional support out there to get people through that particular rough spot on the road to recovery. Lisa said that she wished that I could have met Baird and talked to him about my experience of living with a mental illness.

She then said what I've heard so many times: that I should start blogging about my experiences, that what I have to say could really help people. I'd be nice if what I write could help someone. Sadly, I haven't always been as successful at helping people as I would like. I too lost a friend who had the misfortune to be both mentally ill and an alcoholic. Me and many of her other friends and loved ones worked very hard to save her, but she was unable to accept our help. She is still very much missed.

So, I'll try to share what I know, with the caveat that IANADOATT (I am not a doctor or a trained therapist), just someone who has experienced a few things. If it helps, great.